English humour

— Will you tell me your name?
— Will Knot.
— Why not?
— What do ghosts serve for dessert?
— Ice Scream.
— Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
— No body.
A policeman pulled over a speeding motorist and asked,”Do you have any ID?” The motorist replied, “About what?”
There are three ways a man wears his hair – parted, unparted and departed.
I like your approach…Let’s see your departure.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together!
Don’t steal, the Government hates competition!
When is a knot, not a Knot? When it’s not.
Two upper-class Englishmen at their club. One says to the other, “I say, I hear you buried your wife. Terribly sorry.” The other relies, “Well, we had to, you know. She died.”