Faulty upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 | Best reply to a relationship complain.

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
And the witty reply from the tech Support reads:
9 Ways to Laugh
1. Chortle
[chawr-tl]

2. Guffaw
[guh-faw, guh-]

3. Boff
[bof]

4.Titter
[tit-er]

5.Giggle
[gig–uhl]

6. Yuk
[yuhk]

7. Snicker
[snik-er]

8. Heehaw
[hee-haw]

9. Cachinnate
[kak–uh-neyt]

Source and images
Reading equals life

Passion. Hunger. Need.
I wake up and one motion I do – a book I reach out for. Eyes still closed, I caress its cover, my door to imagination. The first thing in morning, the last thing at night. More than love. Sometimes an obsession. Reading is what gives me the drive, the motivation, the strive to live. Another world I submerge into. Hundreds of thousands of billions of ideas, of minds, of stories. In some of them I may find just a teeny-tiny piece of useful information, others could read my mind and expose me head to toe, naked to them, as if they had been written for myself and only me in the world. Good books tell us what we already know but hesitate to confess – our deepest concerns, fears, loves and hopes. Our selves.
I dream about libraries and the soft, vanilla-like scent of books, centuries talks about life and the adventure of living and loads of dedicated to writing souls to show you the way.
I do not care about night clubs or posh meeting places, as long as I had a nice reading, blanket (and a cuppa tea).
Take books away from me and I will feel lost and confounded. Alone. Deserted.
Bring them back and I will breathe and smile again.
What does reading mean to you?
Shhh, I am taking a book,
so please write silently