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Tag Archive | humor

What type of geek are you?

I am a weirdo of some kind, I come to believe. But what kind of weirdo that might be? I am introverted, I like reading books, but I also am a blogger and a vlogger, I follow the dress code and the social norms but I do not especially enjoy them completely. 

Am I

a geek? A nerd? A dork? What is the difference?

56 geeks chart

 

56 Geeks 291231258_nerds_need_manuels_love_too_xlarge geek-nerdSM Nerd_Dork_Geek_Dweeb

Did you find yourself in the charts? Or could you invent a word for the kind of geek you (think) you are?

 

Sources:

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Faulty upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 | Best reply to a relationship complain.

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed, Desperate

And the witty reply from the tech Support reads:

Read More…

How English sounds to Americans

American Radio

(opens in another window but stay on the page for the videos that follow)

How English sounds to Americans

This reminds me of a previous hilarious post:

Yes, do learn the language

You think you do understand and you are understood by e-e-everyone. Think again 😉

Mayday, mayday

 

Do you speak English?

 

Ze breakfast in ze evening

 

The good old

The Italian Man Who went to Malta

 

When I get home I’ll get a massage from the answering machine,

LOL, OMG and ILY: 60 of the dominating abbreviations

instant-messaging-acronyms

Those using the abbreviations do so as a tactic for speed in text communication, a university professor on linguistics said, while others just choose to do so because they are a code that older people don’t quite understand.

WeAreSocial.com.au managing director Julian Ward said the various different shortcuts, which range from the the compassionate ILY (I Love You) to the more profain WTF (What the F***) are commonplace now and indicate the changing way people harness social media.

Using social listening tools, WeAreSocial.com.au monitored trending terms used by Australians on Twitter from April 1 to June 30.

The top ranking term was, LOL which was used a total of 1,242,935.

We can see a range of clever to practical acronyms as people look for speed and limited thumb work – plus of course it feels good to be in the know, especially on more subversive terms,’ Mr Ward said.

1. LOL: Laugh out loud

2. OMG: Oh my god
3. ILY: I love you

4. LMAO: Laughing my a** off

5.
WTF: What the f***?
6. PPL: People

7. IDK: I don’t know?

8. TBH: To be honest

9. BTW: By the way

10. THX: Thanks

11. SMH: Shaking my head

12. FFS: For f***’s  sake

13. AMA: Ask me anything

14. FML: F*** my life

15. TBT: Throwback Thursday

16. JK: Just kidding

17. IMO: In my opinion

18. YOLO: You only live once

19. ROFL: Rolling on the floor laughing

20.
MCM: Mancrush Monday
21. IKR: I know right?

22. FYI: For your information

23. BRB: Be right back

24. GG: Good game

25.
IDC: I don’t care
26. TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday

27. NSFW: Not safe for work

28. ICYMI: In case you missed it

29. STFU: Shut the f***  up

30. WCW: Womancrush Wednesday

31. IRL: In real life
Read More…

10 Very Costly Typos

Typos can be embarrassing. They can also be costly. And not just for those individuals whose jobs depend on knowing the difference between “it’s” and “its” or where a comma is most appropriate. Last weekend, bauble-loving Texans got the deal of a lifetime when a misprint in a Macy’s mailer advertised a $1500 necklace for just $47. (It should have read $497.) It didn’t take long for the entire inventory to be zapped, at a loss of $450 a pop to the retail giant. (Not to mention plenty of faces as red as the star in the company’s logo.)

Google, on the other hand, loves a good typing transposition. Not only is the mega-search engine’s own name a happy accident (it was supposed to be Googol; the domain name was incorrectly registered), but Harvard University researchers claim that the company earns about $497 million each year from everyday people mistyping the names of popular websites and landing on “typosquatter” sites… which just happen to be littered with Google ads. (Ka-ching!)

Here are 10 other costly typos that give the phrase “economy of words” new meaning.

1. NASA’S MISSING HYPHEN

The damage: $80 million

Hyphens don’t usually score high on the list of most important punctuation. But a single dash led to absolute failure for NASA in 1962 in the case of Mariner 1, America’s first interplanetary probe. The mission was simple: get up close and personal with close neighbor Venus. But a single missing hyphen in the coding used to set trajectory and speed caused the craft to explode just minutes after takeoff. 2001: A Space Odyssey novelist Arthur C. Clarke called it “the most expensive hyphen in history.”

2. THE CASE OF THE ANTIQUE ALE

The damage: $502,996

A missing ‘P’ cost one sloppy (and we’d have to surmise ill-informed) eBay seller more than half-a-mill on the 150-year-old beer he was auctioning. Few collectors knew a bottle of Allsopp’s Arctic Ale was up for bid, because it was listed as a bottle of Allsop’s Arctic Ale. One eagle-eyed bidder hit a payday of Antiques Roadshow proportions when he came across the rare booze, purchased it for $304, then immediately re-sold it for $503,300.

3. THE BIBLE PROMOTES PROMISCUITY

The damage: $4590 (and eternal damnation)

Not even the heavenly father is immune to occasional inattention to detail. In 1631, London’s Baker Book House rewrote the 10 Commandments when a missing word in the seventh directive declared, “Thou shalt commit adultery.” Parliament was not singing hallelujah; they declared that all erroneous copies of the Good Book—which came to be known as “The Wicked Bible”—be destroyed and fined the London publisher 3000 pounds.

4. PASTA GETS RACIST

The damage: $20,000

A plate of tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto would typically only be offensive to a vegetarian’s senses. But an unfortunate blunder in The Pasta Bible, published by Penguin Australia in 2010, recommended seasoning the dish with “salt and freshly ground black people.” Though no recall was made of the books already in circulation, the printer quickly destroyed all 7000 remaining copies in its inventory. Read More…

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