A few quotes of the remarkably funny and absurd Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (plus of the sequel Restaurant at the end of the Universe). Definately must-read(s). Grab it a.s.a.p. and relax in the fields of the unknown, and never get too serious. 🙂
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is an indispensable companion to all those who are keen to make sense of life in an infinitely complex and confusing Universe, for though it cannot hope to be useful or informative on all matters, it does at least make the reassuring claim, that where it is inaccurate it is at least definitively inaccurate. In cases of major discrepancy it’s always reality that’s got it wrong. This was the gist of the notice. It said “The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.”
“Alright,” said Ford, “just stop panicking.”
“Who said anything about panicking?” snapped Arthur. “This is still just the culture shock. You wait till I’ve settled down into the situation and found my bearings. Then I’ll start panicking.”
“Thank you,” it said, “for making a simple door very happy.” Deep in Marvin’s thorax gears ground. “Funny,” he intoned funerally, “how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.”
Marvin: “Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust, or just fall apart where I’m standing?”
It claimed to produce the widest possible range of drinks personally matched to the tastes and metabolism of whoever cared to use it. When put to the test, however, it invariably produced a plastic cup filled with a liquid which was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
“Look,” said Arthur, “would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”
It is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
The other three could sense it too, but they could sense the bitter cold even more and hurried back into the Heart of Gold suffering from an acute attack of no curiosity.
“So, how are you?” he said aloud. “Oh, fine,” said Marvin, “if you happen to like being me, which personally I don’t.” …
… “Why,” said Ford squatting down beside him and shivering, “are you lying face down in the dust?” “It’s a very effective way of being wretched,” said Marvin.
It said: ‘The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. “For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?”
“Yeah,” said Zaphod bitterly, “very good. Very deep. Right now I need aphorisms like I need holes in my heads.”
“If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you’re in trouble, need a hand out of a tight corner…” “Yeah?” “Please don’t hesitate to get lost.”
Start your day with a smile,
4 responses to “Don’t panic”
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- July 11, 2012 -
- July 28, 2012 -
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I am a big fan of Hitchhiker’s Guide too and all the marvellous quirky phrases in it.
There was something about lunchtime along the lines of ‘Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so’.
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