Only the British could invent such a language

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.


If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?


Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

And, in closing, if Father is Pop,  how come Mother‘s not Mop?

If people from POLAND are called POLES
then people from HOLLAND should be then HOLES
and what to say about GERMANSGERMS?!


Click to read: Crazy English

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This blog is Zoe's way to spread the joy of finding and learning interesting bits about English. Join her and learn something new every time.

3 responses to “Only the British could invent such a language”

  1. Thommo says :

    as a point to this, it should be said that the English did not invent their language. The French, Germans, Italians, and too many other nationalities than can be noted here invented the present English language. I’m not sure if it can be put the language is a bastard of a language or the English themselves can be termed to be that. Just remember, the US bastardisation of the English language was initiated by Noah Webster after the war of independence seeing he hated them so much. It just keeps evolving.

  2. Nick S. says :

    +1 for the Poles-Holes wordplay 🙂

  3. Anne Bonney says :

    Love it – re-blogged on gunsmoke and knitting. Thanks!

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